Beat-Herder

I haven't been posting stuff recently, but I really must post about our intense festival weekend at Beat-Herder. It's a dance music event hosted annually in some fields just off the A59 in Sawley.

This year, there was more than just dance music. There was reggae music, folk music, electronica, comedy and performance art. The wild swimmers were asked to perform as the latter.

We got free tickets to the event and 3 of us (including me) had backstage passes! We camped in the crew camping area and parked in specially reserved crew lots.

Our side of the bargain was to put on interactive shows throughout the festival. On Friday we put on the outdoor sink-ro-nised swim. On Saturday morning some of us were a four person Victorian carnival. Cherie and I left to go to Gareth's wedding and the rest of them took the bathing machine out for a spin. The day after was Sepia Sunday and we all dressed as Victorians with sepia coloured clothes and props. We put on short silent movie style vignettes at various spots throughout the festival site and then invited the festival goers to take a photo with us.

The whole thing was quite mad with very little time to watch any of the acts.

We all really enjoyed it.

And I think Beat-Herder enjoyed us.

I did it!

Oh my goodness, have I got a lot to tell you!

I haven't even had chance to blog.

I did the Great North Swim last Saturday in a time of one hour one minute. But I did it.

I did get cramp in both legs and ended up swimming unnecessarily far because the wind/current meant I swam in a sawtooth instead of a straight line. But it was an incredible feeling!

We had a huge party afterwards.

I've collected almost all of the sponsorship money. That's about £150 now.

Last night we took Nat and William to look around the Altham mill and we're going back there tonight for a sauna party.

Sound be good.

Butterflies

We're at Nancy's in London this weekend. Its great to see them both.

We went to an exhibition of butterflies today. Actual real-life, fluttering colourful ones. Cherie was so entranced she was almost in tears of emotion.

Mmmmmm....

Nina, Aiden and Gracie bear came for tea today. It was really nice. I made a shepherdless pie and Nina brought strawberries and cream.

I bought a new shirt and some after shave.

Bats and Gongs

It's been a wonderful day. It's mine and Cherie's 8th wedding anniversary. I made her a card with a poem inside and gave her the gift of a gong bath. She gave me a bat detector.

This morning, we both woke and did Gongyo. We both took the dog for a walk and I picked up a parcel from the post office for Cherie. I then packed a bag and went to Gaddings dam with my sister. The water was quite warm today (14.5C) and we both did 1.2 miles. Alyson came too and did her first outdoor mile. We had a quick picnic (a kwik-nic) and came home.

I ate soon more of the picnic in the sun and then showered and got changed ready to take Cherie out for a meal. We went back to Todmorden to the Top Brink pub and had some grub. The parcel I'd picked up earlier turned out to be my present which was a bat detector. We came home, Cherie put on her wedding dress and we listened to the clicks of the pippistrels.

Good news, and not so good news

Cherie and I have been falling out again. Over the last couple of weeks. Hence no blog.

It makes me sad that it happened, but happy to make new beginnings.

And Maya and Nancy have had some bad times down in London.

That's the "not so good news".

Good news is I swam a mile in open water at Gaddings Dam.

Yay!

Life Drawing

Cherie and I have been drawing each other this evening. Cherie did an excellent action pose of me and  then a close up of my face.

I drew one of her lying down and, would you Adam and Eve it, it was really good!

I never would have expected that it would turn out that well. Not a patch on Cherie's work, but still. It was my first time.

Tooosday

Well it's a Tuesday. I've not really been feeling normal strong Ashley self recently. I've been a bit weedy. And I have no idea why.

I've not been blogging regularly for one. I have been chanting though, and it's helping. I just imagine what I would've been like if I hadn't been!

I've kept up writing my book. I've been picking up bits from all over the place and putting them in the computer to put into order sometime in the future. 

And I need to sort the writing group which seems a bit vague right now. I'll book the room tonight.

I've been doing well at swimming recently too. In fact I've found it great fun. I never expected that. Cherie wants to sign up for a run now. She's found a fun 5k one with obstacles! It sounds brilliant. I'll sign up for that too! Sounds like a larf.

Gaddings Dam

We did our first open water swimming practice today at Gaddings Dam. It was 9C. It felt very very cold. Feet and hands suffered.

I did quite well. A lot of endurance but not much speed. 

I also made a complete ass of myself by being very grumpy at Cherie for no reason. I can be such a dick sometimes.

Curry

Going out for a curry tonight with the guys to Shahi Qila. Dave and Bry and Andy will be there.

Writing Course - Week 4

The working week has started again, but it's a short one because of the bank holiday.

It was such a wonderful day and the rest of the week is just dull by comparison. We went for a wild swimming picnic on the bank of the Hodder, North of Cromwell's Bridge. It was a very warm day indeed.

The air was warm. The water was, well, not so much.

It was a real shame that Cherie had to work. I missed her.

It was the writing course last night. I'm still at it. I'm now the last.

I've started getting arrangements together for a creative writing group at the Civic called PenPals. It's going to be awesome.

Please, please come.

Bandy Legs and Flowing Fiction

It's been a slow day today. That's good.

In fact, it's been great. I managed to write loads. I got in the zone and it started to flow. I started writing in Costa Coffee again. Whilst there I ran into Stephen Murphy. He's interested in coming to my new writing group that starts in June. PenPals it's called.

The writing started off slowly. It was like trying to ride a rusty bicycle. The more I wrote, the easier it became. The wheels turned more easily as the rust rubbed off. By the end, I had written 3 scenes which form about a third of a chapter. What I'm really pleased about is that I ended with something that I'd known would be a challenge, dialog.

It's extremely difficult to portray a character's traits through their words in such a way as the dialog gives the impression of two or more intelligent independent beings each with their own points of view, perspective, preconceptions, motives and ideas. I wrote a scene which involved dialog and read it back time after time. I think I pulled it off. I even managed to get the flow of time to feel right as well as the reactions of the characters and the timing of the actual dialog.

I was quite impressed.

Not bad for a day recovering. Recovering from last nights debauchery at the Inn on the Wharf in Burnley watching Emmot and the Folkestra with the swimmers.

Whilst there, I ran into David Allen and Andy Cole.

How awesome is that! It was such a terrific night. As usual, the AWS bandy legged dance troupe served as model dancers to be copied by the other mad folk on the floor. Yes, that's right, we set the trend and the rest followed.

There were more bandy legs than you can shake a stick at.

A Vision

Cherie and I have started waking up early so we can get an hour of chanting in before work. So far, so good. We've been doing it since Monday.

Kerry invited us to chant today for Soka Gakkai day. We did.

But my head wasn't in it for some reason. I've been ridiculously tired recently and it's been a bit restricting. I've missed BookFace conversations. I've missed watching TV with Cherie, I've missed a lot of things.

Because I've been too tired. I've been going to bed early.

But this morning's chant was worse. I also felt really negative and small. Insignificant.

I need to sort that out.

But whilst chanting, I had a vision. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a religious visitation or some future prophecy. The world around me didn't change into some otherworldly experience.

No, this was to do with a story I'm writing. I had a vision of a place. A setting where part of the story unfolds. A very rich and vivid world filled with jaw dropping wonders. A dangerous but beautiful place thronging with colourful characters going about their daily business. A city where all things come together.

And that's where I went whilst chanting. I walked its streets. Looked up at its starry sky. Smelled the fragrant air full of exotic spices and engine oil. Peered through the windows of the banks, the inns and the auction houses teeming with customers. Listened to shouts of joy, cries of pain and whispers of conspiracy.

I can't wait to get it down on paper.

Hot Thursday

It's Thursday. The sun is seriously out.

I'm waiting for Cherie outside the doctor's surgery. In the car. Roof down.

And it's warm,

At times like these I realise how much I crave the sun.

Maybe I'm photosynthesising.

Writing Course - Week 3

Wow. Down to one person this week.

Just lil'ol me.

I did the homework. But only just.

After such a busy week I really struggled to fit it in. I'd left it too late. I'll do the next assignment as soon as I can to avoid that happening again.

Monday came around and I had to be up early, go to work, take William to the dentist, shop for the big Buddhist meeting (with help from Nat), prepare for the meeting (with help from Cherie), take Nat and his gear to a band practice and then host the meeting.

So no time for writing then? Well, I vomited the words onto a blank page in the twenty minutes it took William to have his dental checkup. People must have thought I was a very odd character sitting in the waiting room frantically tapping at my iPad screen.

Click Click Clickety Click.

I tidied the text up after work today on the iMac. I added a title and a subtitle, broke the text into sections with headings and stuck in a few rapid screenshots.

I felt very guilty at not giving it my best.

I gave it to Mr Steve the Writer and he read it. I'd already apologised for my lack of effort.

But I think it was alright. He gave me the next assignment and said I'd got the narrative style of the magazine off to a tee.

I smiled. Had I achieved the chatty style on purpose or had it just emerged from the rushed approach?

Either way I came out pleased with myself.

I have taken the course tutor's email address and I must send him something. That way he gets my email address and can send me the homework in an electronic form. I'll then forward that to Sam, Kaye and Caroline.

I know at least one of them has dropped out already, but I didn't let on to Steve. I'll forward the stuff and they can do with it what they like.

Another thing, Kaye sent me a message about getting involved with a creative writing group. I need to make that happen.

Looks like PenPals will become a thing.

Big Buddhist Meeting

That's not a meeting for big Buddhists. So please stop imagining a room full of flabby bald smiling folk sitting in the lotus position.

Have you erased said picture from your mind? Sure? Not even a single bloater rolling around in there?

Good.

It was a men's meeting, HQ level. A meeting for any SGI men from Lakes and Lancs. there were eleven of us, which is a pretty amazing turnout.

I made pizza. Lots of pizza. And biscuits.

A bit too much really. It wasn't all consumed. I took the rest into work today. The gannets devoured all the leftovers in minutes.

The meeting was vibrant but challenging. One of the guys described it as 'a significant meeting'.

It was fairly heavy, content-wise, and it made me feel a bit, well, inadequate. I'm supposed to be a district leader. I need to do better. After an hour of chanting this morning I realised that I had been leading and that wanting to do better is a vital ingredient in human revolution.

So, win-win then.

We made a unanimous decision to hold HQ level men's division meetings every other month. What a result!

There were also people there who shared the view I had when I started the practice. Why do we have separate men's and women's divisions in the first place. I suppose I'd got so used to having the men's meeting each month I'd lost track of that particular question.

It was worth it. Thanks to everybody who made it their mission to come. Shame John couldn't make it.

Preston Station

Waiting. At Preston station.

Waiting for my love. She's been in London.

Not that far. But it seems further.

When we're apart.

Won't be long and she'll be back. And then we'll be together.


Wow, that just came out. 2 minutes. No rewrites. Almost poetic.

Cool.

Tested out my wetsuit today. Impressed by how warm and buoyant it is. Lots more wild swimming in the future I think.

Fun day

Hey blog buddies! Wow, been a fun day. A long day.

Got a wetsuit. Literally the last one in the shop. The guy said it had been an incredible day - they'd sold practically all of their Orca wetsuits today. They only had this one left because someone had tried it and ended up upgrading to a top of the range one. It fits well. It's actually a size bigger than the one I tried before. The shop guy saw me and said I'd be better with that size anyway.

It is miles easier to get on and off than the other was. And still really snug.

Spent this evening watching Dr Who and Breaking Bad and describing the plot for my story to William.

I don't hate my story half as much now. In fact, I impressed myself. I think its time to start the actual writing.

Going to try my wetsuit tomorrow at Brungerley Bridge.

See you there.

Working on a Saturday?

It's worrying how much time I spend apologising. It's not right.

You know what I'm going to say. I've been busy.

Too busy for us drainers, eh Ash? We're not good enough for you. You just get on with your 'busy' life. Don't worry about us with nothing to read. We'll be fine. There's always the tele-ma-box.

We've been moving offices this week. So there's that. It's a Saturday and I'm going back into work to help finish up.

And we've been trying to import Asda's data into world all week. It's not worked so far. Dave left us last week and we're a bit in the dark with very short notice as to get it working.

Whilst packing and shifting.

And my phone broke. The back is smashed. Don't know how, it's not like I dropped it or anything. It went in my pocket fine and came out smashed.

It's all moan, moan, moan today. So, a look on the bright side.

William and I went for a Mexican last night and went to see Oblivion at the moooovies. I really enjoyed it. The concepts, story and artwork were excellent. But it had glitzy Tom Cruise Hollywood production values.

Cheesy.

Vanilla Skies all over again.

I noticed in the end credits it was based on a graphic novel. That explains it.

We might be wild swimming tomorrow. People are trying out their wetsuits. I don't have one yet; but I might get one this afternoon if there's time.

I'm not going for a dear one. I can't.

Cherie is in London to go to Taplow Court. She's staying with Nancy. I hope she's having a great time. Love you, wifey.

I've got to finish my writing course homework this weekend. Must. Be. A. Good. Boy.

We are having a Buddhist men's meeting here on Monday. It is for all the men from the HQ. So that's quite a lot of dudes. I'll make pizza. It was supposed to be at John's house but he thought it was last night. When I reminded him about the day he had double booked so we had to move it here.

Really looking forward to it. But I also have to fit it in with taking William to the dentist. That might be difficult to arrange with work too because it is during the afternoon.

Such is life.

Challenges make us stronger. And happier.

Writing Course - week 2

It was the second day of the writing course today. We had homework. I did most of mine last night and wrote it up just before the lesson with seconds to spare. I think it went quite well. Today's session didn't feel quite as negative as last week's. It was nice to see everybody again although Caroline has dropped out. Shame.

For this week's homework we have to write a short article for our chosen publication. I'm quite looking forward to that.

It has been a quiet day at work today. I got chance to go over to the new premises to check out the IT equipment there. Internet and phones are now in and I was able to use the moo phone to call out. That's a hyper technical term for a very special phone.

Not really; it's just like any other landline handset but decorated in a cow skin motif.

If it worked, any standard telephony device will work. Faxes, modems you name it.

So that's nice.

At the writing session I found out about more software designed for helping writers to manage plots and characters. I was very impressed and I may have to check some of them out. I still love the simplicity of Scrivener though.

One of the other writers read the post I wrote about the Writing Course week one and was inspired to return for week two. I am so happy about that! I spoke to her about the Artists' Hangout and about a few of us maybe putting together a creative writing group in the Civic Arts Centre.

I think it is going to happen. Everybody loves the idea. I just need to keep up the momentum and keep people interested.

The plot for my novel is coming along. I'm very pleased about it. I'm pleased about hating it. Well, parts of it.

In the past I would have stopped right there. It's just crap, move on. But this time it's not the same. It's crap, make it better.

And I am. And it is.

Blog? Fail.

It's Monday. Where, I hear you scream, are the posts for Saturday and Sunday.

Where, Ashley? Where?

Here, I've just taken the top off this bottle of beer. You have it. Sit in that comfy armchair and relax. No, not the one near the door. Don't want you sitting in a draft. No, sit in the big leather one by the fire. That's it. I know, heaven right?

Now that your feeling a little calmer, let me explain.

(Cue flashback...)

William came this weekend. That's not why there was no blog, I'm just setting the scene.

William came. It was cool. Cherie and I went to a Buddhist meeting after a busy morning of stuff and then went to Cath's to collect our newly fired pottery pieces. Cherie's stuff was obviously amazing but surprisingly, mine was quite good too. I gave it to William for his cornflakes. It had pictures of fish inside and I'd written "A shoal in your bowl". William liked it.

I then went for a naughty night out cruelly leaving poorly wife at home with the babies (one fifteen year old and an eighteen year old). In truth, they probably babysat her - she has been officially diagnosed with a kidney infection.

Whilst Cherie was suffering miserably on the sofa in front of the tellybox I went gallivanting about town with two beautiful laydeez; a Miss Nina and a Miss Franki. I drove us to Manchester and Franki took us to a salsa club.

I have to say the view was good. Very, very good. I didn't know where to look. There were some real beauties bouncing around on the dance floor to a vibrant Latin rhythm.

We had a go. At the salsa I mean. We'd arrived too late to take place in any of the dance classes so Franki did her best to teach Nina and I. I wasn't great, but at least this time we didn't need any medical help.

After we'd been showing off our accrington wild swimming dancing prowess to the obviously insanely jealous Mancunians we left and went to Band on the Wall.

It was reggae night and time to get down.

We did. Until after two.

A brief stop for a pizza and home we went. Got in at about 4am.

How naughty is that?

I'd planned to go wetsuit shopping on Sunday but the shop was closed. Bummer. Went writing instead and completely finished a story plan. Ironed out all the plot wrinkles too.

Sound the trumpets of triumph!

But then I decided it was crap. Some bits of it are, it's not just my hyperactive inner critic this time.

I've decided to write three plans and use the best bits to create a fourth. I've already started number two.

I was really tired after being out so late so I wasn't up to blogging.

I've been bidding on eBay for two wetsuit auctions. Both times the price went too high.

I either have to chose a cheaper wetsuit or stump up more cash. At this point. I don't have more cash.

Or do I? Remember the writing course? Write articles for a computer magazine...

I was thinking maybe fund a wetsuit from articles.

Hmmm..... If I had a Victorian moustache I'd be twiddling it right now.

Poorly Wife

Hi all. It's Friday.

Like I said yesterday, it was Dave's last day at work today. There was cake. Lots of cake. And man hugs.

It's a shame he's gone, but I wish him all the luck in the world with his new career move. He deserves it.

Cherie went to the docs today and she has a kidney infection. She's on antibiotics now. But she's too poorly to go salsa dancing tomorrow. She's going to stay home.

Do I go? We'll see what tomorrow brings.

The Final Dust of Dave

It's been a quiet day at work today. We have practically got to the end of a medium sized strategic software project to provide real-time functions to our fuel island controller and tied up loose ends on a couple of imports into the web service. We're also in the middle of preparations to move offices next week. That, and it's Dave's last day tomorrow. Jonny and I have been extracting all of his "Dust". That's we what we call his particular blend of IT magic. Dave Dust.

If something's not working, just liberally sprinkle it with Dave Dust and it'll be fine.

Not to be confused with Butt Dust. That's something entirely different.

We'll miss Dave. We're already missing Andy and Bryan not to mention Graham. Since they left they've all been showing up every now and again. I think that says a lot for the bond our team once had. Even when folk get made redundant, they still want to come back for a chat.

Cherie has been off work again today but she's feeling better. That's good.

We curled up on the sofa and watched a Netflix marathon. Breaking Bad series 3, Green Wing series 2 and Firefly.

Love Firefly. What a terrific fusion of old and new. The Wild West but in space. It doesn't just work, it seems like that's how it would be. The young terraformed planets at a distance from the galactic centre are lawless and poor and the inhabitants are squabbling over limited resources. Great characters. Great acting. Great dialog. Great stories.

Hooked.

Sittin' and Waitin'

I'm in the car right now. Just sitting in a car park, not actually moving at all. I'm waiting for William to finish his guitar lesson. It's good to see him, even though he seems a bit miserable.

I would be to if I had to come back to this weather from fancy France.

I'm hungry. If I'm not home soon I may just eat my iPad. I've got some beef I the back. Think it'll become a pasta dish or something.

In the back with the beef is a wetsuit I've borrowed to try on. It's a size 8 Orca Sonar circa £300. There's one exactly like it on eBay for £77 (last bid). Which is nice.

Hope it fits; if it does I'll place a bid. Apparently it's easily worth over £100.

But I'm so hungry I might just eat that too.

I've just seen something fairly awesome on BookFace. Apparently HBO have made a multi season TV series of American Gods which he is writing. No way man! I NEED to see this.

It could be the single most awesome TV event in history.

What do I have to do to get to see it?

Writing Course: Week 1

I really enjoy writing. I hope that the pleasure I get documenting my daily stream of consciousness comes out through my words and fills you, dear reader, with something similar. It's not a chore; well, at least not most days.

I attended the first day of a six week writing course today. I feel very positive that I will take away some genuinely useful nuggets of advice about writing in such a way as to directly address a specific target audience.

It was great to meet some new creative people too. I've been reading one or two of their blogs. I was very impressed. We have a lot of hidden talent silently condensed into our small town.

However, the course was not entirely what I expected it to be. I had been told it was a creative writing course. My dad and sister were told that too.

But it wasn't about writing fiction for fun. It was about writing non-fiction for profit; mainly for magazines.

Now I could eat a whole bowl of advice nuggets about writing for magazines with milk and sugar and still have room for toast with technical literature marmalade. Both of which I've already done, probably to a mediocre degree. There's always room for improvement especially in the area of knowing the business side; how much to charge, copyright and other crunchy delights.

Before I go any further, I must ask. The breakfast metaphor. Too much?

Your expression says it all. No more streaky rashers tonight.

The course was not for everyone. Some people were expecting to be writing poems and short stories and marvelling at hearing the unexpected works of other talented people. Others were deflated by the stifling negativity from hearing the organiser's experiences on writing fiction that leeched every last drop of creative mojo. My dad for one. He was, in a nutshell, disappointed.

But I believe that everything happens for a reason. I'm a Buddhist, doncha know. (Before you complain, I know that's not a word).

I believe that you should wring every ounce of positivity from an experience. There'll always be an element of it that will prove to be a benefit in the future. It's not always immediately obvious. Sometimes, it can even seem to be a negative experience at first glance.

But there's always a positive side, even to something that looks negative. As a minimum, you'll learn not to do it again. Which, of course, is positive.

That's just how I see things these days. And so, I believe, did some of the other attendees.

So I'll be there next week with my sister but not my dad. We'll do our homework and research. We'll learn about how best to write an article that appeals to a magazine editor and ultimately to a demographic.

And you, dear drainer, will reap the rewards of my new found penmanship skills.

Painted Pots and Small Potatoes

I hope you don't mind, lovely drainers, but I've had the weekend off. Off blogging, I mean.

I have been writing, but not my blog. Something else. Something bigger.

We went out on Saturday to the Inn at Whitewell for my sister's birthday. As food goes, it was delicious. As portion sizes go, paltry. I was amazed at the intricately chopped yet microscopic potato triangles set with a lump of lamb in a tasty onion jus (that's posh for gravy).

We had a nice evening.

On Sunday I went writing at Costa which is becoming even more of a habit these days. Cherie went to Cath's with the AWS laydeez to do some pottery painting. People had taken food to Cath's, so of course, I had to go when I'd finished at Costa just to try some.

The girls were all trying their best to concentrate on delicately creating wondrous designs on plain white bowls, jugs and cups whilst the children charged madly from room to room screaming and shredding Cath's precious nik-naks. I started thinking maybe I should take them to the park, and whilst still thinking of it I heard Saskia telling the ladies my thoughts.

How did she do that?

Hey ho... So I took Orin, Saskia, Aelwyn, Aiden and Oisin to the park armed with just a pram and a bag of mini eggs.

We were there for ages! I really had lots of fun. Bizarre, I know. You'd have thought that it would have been chaos. Go figure.

But that's what happens when you stimulate the minds of brilliant children. Peel them off the XBox screen and take them into the fresh air with their friends.

Joy happens.

When we returned, I helped myself to the scrumptious food (Kerris's lemon meringue pie and Franki's flapjacks. No they aren't euphemisms). Thanks everybody.

I even had a go at painting myself. When I looked at the results I remembered why I tend to avoid things which require dexterity and patience. I should stick to male Neanderthal pursuits like bashing down walls and growling.

We then went to Franki's to have a go at sorting her computer. I didn't have the gear with me, so we ended up chatting until stupid o'clock. I really enjoyed it.

I went back to Franki's this evening with the right bits and showed that darn machine who was the boss.

Going Out

Hello, you lovely lot. It's Friday. Woo hoo! Work is done for the week.

I've just woken up after a lazy afternoon nap. Finished work, came home and started blowing Z's on the bed. Cherie woke me up with a telephone call.

I'm going out tonight. Lads night out, I reckon. Me and my pal Adrian. Watch out, somewhere, he we come! Because I'm not sure where we're going to be.

I fancy having a curry, but I don't think that will happen. I fancy having one jar too many. But that won't be happening either. So, I don't know where we're going and I don't know what we're doing.

Hmmm... No very well organised is it, genius?

What does it matter? It'll be what it is and will happen where it is. Bring it on.

Swimming!

I went swimming after work today and pulled almost 70 lengths out of my hat. I say almost, I'd aimed for 70 lengths and managed 68 before the pool closed.

I could have managed the full 70 but probably no more. It really tired me out unlike the last time I'd swum that far.

I'm going to be swimming a lot more in preparation for the Great North Swim in June.  I'll be disappointed if I don't manage it on the day. More open water swimming. Wetsuit swimming. Wetsuit buying.

I'm quite eager to get a wetsuit - I don't just want to rent one either. I'm keen to practice some open water swims with one on; to get the feel of it, don't you know. I'd rather know what it's going to be like than be surprised during the GNS.

So, I'm reasonably impressed with myself. Only twelve months ago I would never have imagined I'd be able to swim as far as I can.

On a different issue, I'm being a naughty evil download pirate. Arrrrrr!

I'm curently downloading Game of Thrones Season 3. How much spanking do I need!

Answers on a post card....

The way I see it, I bought Season One, pirated Season Two, then bought Season Two. I plan to download Season Three and then buy it when it is finally released on DVD.

So, am I that naughty?

Scrivener

It's Cherie's birthday today. I made soup for tea. Not really a terrific birthday treat, but Cherie insisted she didn't want to go out. Anyway, it wasn't ordinary soup.

It was delicious Ashley soup made with vegetables and kisses.

I found a program for writers today called Scrivener and I think it will be really helpful to use for my latest project. I tried writing with it today outside of the coffee shop environment and...

FAILED! Where has by brain gone? I just didn't work properly.

I need to try again, another day.

Hugs :-)

Happy Birthday

Nothing earth shattering to write about today. Sorry.

Just been to work and done stuff. Still waxed melancholy after having such a tremendous weekend followed by a very sad funeral.

Still, feeling that way is just a state of mind. So I didn't let it make me unhappy.

And tomorrow is another day.

Cherie's birthday in actual fact.

We Did It Part 2

Yesterday's ceilidh was brilliant. Thanks again to everyone who took part. Now all of the AWS events we had planned have happened, it feels a bit boring. We need to plan something else; I'm starting to miss everybody.

We went to David's sons funeral today. David seemed to be a pillar of strength for his family.

Not been a great day today.

We Did It

We did it! The performance went without a hitch.

Well, almost.

There kinda was one minor hitch. We forgot to bring the audience!

The only people watching were a three walkers and a dog!

Not really, I'm exaggerating. There were a few more than that. But it doesn't matter. We enjoyed it.

We had an after party and I'm a naughty drunkard. And of course, there's another party today!

Wey hey! I have an active social life at the moment.

Love you all. :-)

Today is the Day

The day has arrived. The one you've all been waiting for. Saturday, April 6th.

Today he perform the debut of the Accrington Wild Swimmers Outdoor Victorian Synchronised Swim. It was one of the cats in bags from a post a few weeks ago.

I can reveal it will be tonight at 6pm in Rhyddings Park. Please, everyone come and support us. It going to be great.

I guarantee you'll never see anything quite like it again!

We have made the costumes, the props and the bathing machine. We have designed it, choreographed it and practised it until we know every little move.

We still have a few snags. The bathing machine broke in rehearsal yesterday. We'll have to fix it this morning. We still haven't actually got our hands on the PA system yet, but that should be he this afternoon.

And today is the day.

There's a big parade afterwards and after that, we'll be in the pub.

Intrigue in the Heart of Blackburn

Cherie and I visited Cath and Eoin today and we had some lovely tea. Cherie was finishing Eoin's costume.

On the way back... Seriously, this is true.

On the way back we became caught up in a full on Sweeney style cop chase.

I heard a faint siren and could see approaching blue flashing lights in the rear view mirror. Another car, a large sedan type, maybe a BMW, came tearing around the corner behind me. The police car followed. The pair turned right into a connecting street and I lost sight of them.

I excitedly turned to Cherie and said I thought we were in the middle of a police chase. It was to get more intense.

I was trying to get back to Preston New Road and I turned down the next right. Cars were parked on either side leaving a very narrow strip of road down the middle just wide enough for a single car. Half way down, the same car sped around the corner at the other end of the street still pursued by the police and raced directly towards me. I thought they were going to ram my car.

They didn't. Instead the driver directed the car into a small space between two others, leaped out and ran off with two other guys. The police car stopped directly facing my car and inches away. The driver jumped out and chased them leaving me dumbfounded in the middle of the road.

I had to reverse the car out the way I came in.

What WAS all that about?

A few minutes later I was almost back in Oswaldtwistle and I saw the police helicopter pass above me on its way towards Blackburn. I couldn't help but wonder if it was going to help find the bad guys.

I came home and started doing a bit of preparation for the writing I've been talking about. I took Annie's advice and went mental with the PostIt notes. I'm writing this on the bed surrounded by green and purple squares of sticky paper, each with its own snippet of information.

You see, I've had a good idea for a story. I must not let this one get away.

I bet that's what the policeman thought, too.

Get Set for the Weekend!

Woo hoo! Day of tomorrow.

Marvellous! No work.

So what should I do instead? Oh yes, sweep up leaves at Rhyddings park.

A-boo.

But all in a good cause! We're doing something very, very special on Saturday.

Very special indeed. And slightly insane.

Honestly, I can't wait for this weekend. It's going to be an AWS action weekend! A party-a-thon.

Come and see...

Movie

Work.

Rubbish.

Didn't want to be there. Wanted to be writing.

Watching a movie with Cherie.

Wonderful.

Oh Dear!

I forgot to post yesterday. I did enough writing for one day.

I wrote absolutely tons of great stuff. Coffee shops are the key.

It didn't turn out exactly how I wanted, but better in some ways worse in others. I did too much detail to get it finished.

In the evening we had a rehearsal for the Victorian swimming. The music was still not done! Annie had told me that earlier because I dumped into her at Costa and we had a very long chat.

Anyway, I finally received the music files last night and was up until stupid o'clock editing them together into 2 very long parts.

I think people will be asking me to cut them down, or maybe Annie will do her own versions and they'll be more like we expect.

Still no PA though!

Bit of a show stopper in the most literal sense.

Curry and Roses

Busy day. Yes, another one.

I made a terrific curry tonight. From scratch. Just thought I would share that.

Before that I was helping to create the bathing machine for the outside synchronised swim on Saturday.

Kerris announced the Accrington Wild Swimmers on Radio Lancashire today. We're famous!

I got Cherie some beautiful red roses. I knew they were hers as soon as I saw them, so I bought them.

We all helped to build and paint the bathing machine today. It was supposed to take from one until 4, but we ended up stopping at 830 and still we didn't finish the wheels.

There's a full rehearsal tomorrow.

Kerris took some brilliant photos of us in costume.

Tangerine Dreams

Guess what, I've been writing. An actual story.

And it works. I think.

I was aiming for a particular voice style. Light hearted, curious and fascinating. Douglas Adams meets Terry Pratchett.

It may not be perfect, but I was reaching for a lofty goal. What I've got is good enough.

Well, it's a start.

What I wanted to do was come up with just a sample of the style. Like going to B&Q for a tiny pot of paint just to check that you like the final colour.

So I put together a few pages of a scene that had been buzzing around my head.

And I like.

I've entitled this blog post with the name I came up with for the short part that I have written.

I have some more ideas for scenes, a general idea of a plot with entangled threads of sub-plots involving interesting characters and a setting concept which has infinite scope.

It does sound too good to be true. It's one of those creations that feels more like a gift than an idea. A gift that I have to convert from a few sketchy insubstantial images into a living breathing reality.

Can I pull it off?

If I don't try, I'll never know.

What Colour are Your Teeth?

I'm going to be writing a lot more from now on. Maybe not more blog posts, but I'll be writing nonetheless.

You see, I have a plan. And it's genius. It's so good that it would be a crime NOT to do it.

Well, that's what I'm telling myself anyway. My inner motivational speaker.

This plan involves a story. A story which I think is pretty unique. I'm not going to tell you too much about it, that's for another day. But I will post about its progress.

So because I'll be writing more I have bought myself a portable BlueTooth keyboard so I can properly type wherever I happen to be. I prefer a speedy tactile keyboard to an error prone pen. I'm writing this on my iPad using the new keyboard right now!

The keyboard feels a bit cheap but it works really well!

So with all this writing there'll be a whole lot of reading to be done.

Can you do it, loyal drainers?

Can you do it?

When I Grow Up

This is the poem I wrote and performed as a One Page Poet at the Artists' Hangout on Wednesday. I said I'd post it.

It's about finding your inner child.

In Buddhism, we often talk about having a 'youthful' organisation. This doesn't mean the practice has not been going very long or that it's full of children. Instead, it means that those who practice should aim to possess a youthful spirit. To have a childlike (not childish) state of mind.

My goal is to reconnect with the boy I left behind. I was inspired to share this with the other Hanger Outers, so I wrote this poem.

Hope you enjoy it. It's called "When I Grow Up".

When I grow up
I want to be
A fireman

When I grow up
I'll dance my
Days away

When I grow up
I want to play
For England

Such hopeful things
That children
Often say.

Some people think
Youth's wasted
On the young

The playfulness
The thirst for life
The glee

But look within
Yourself and there's
A puzzle

What awful crime
Has forced those traits
To flee.

The wonder's gone
The magic's vanished
The verve has gone to sleep

The dreams have left
And playtime's over
Toys in a rubbish heap

Monsters, fairies
Superman
Not real

Santa Claus
Exchanged for
Bitter truth

Flights of fancy
Swapped with dull
Real life

What chance is there
To bring back
Hope of youth.

Relax, my friend,
You can
Rejuvenate

Return the joy
That you've left
Behind

A simple fact
But hard
To realise

Youthfulness is
Just a state
Of mind

Rewind the clock,
Don't work too hard
And play

Reclaim your smile,
Act the fool
Run wild

Sing out loud
This simple phrase
Each day

"When I grow up
I want to be
A child"

The Long Yell

Not 'yell' like a shout but the first syllable of the word yellow. Confused? Don't worry, I'll get to it.

It was the Artists' Hangout tonight and it was hugely enjoyable. One of the best.

No. For me, the ACTUAL best.

The theme for tonight was the colour yellow. People dressed in yellow and brought various yellow items to decorate. We'd spent the afternoon yellowing up the place.

All in all, it ended up being fairly yellow.

There was a guest MC tonight; it wasn't Ian all the way through. A lot of it was presented by a young chap who has just passed the first round of auditions to become a Blue Peter presenter. He was filming a video all night to use for the next round. I wish him the best of luck! He was great with the kids; even the terrifying Saskia!

I performed as one of the One Page Poets. Tomorrow, I'll simply post the poem as my blog.

Yes, I know I'm a lazy bee-atch.

I thought the poem went rather well. My poem was about finding your inner child, something that is very important to me at the moment. A couple of people really liked my words; the music act for the evening linked them into one of his songs. I thought that was pretty cool.

But the main event for me was the performance Ian and I gave as The Fabulous Ricola Brothers. We starting writing a script around last Friday and so only had a few days to learn the roles and rehearse. It was difficult to get the words right during practice and I at times I worried that on the night it was going to be a disaster because I'd forget what I had to say.

But it went so much better than we'd even hoped. Even the ad-libbing was tight. What a buzz!

Speaking to people afterward, it seemed that everybody loved it! I know that I did.

I said to Ian I would call this blog 'the long yell' and I did. That was the way I described how I wanted to deliver the line including the words 'yellow night'. With a long 'yell'.

Yell-ow.

Happy to be here on-a Yell-ow night.

I want to do the whole thing again! It gave me a feeling that I'd forgotten even existed.

I became somebody else. I don't mean that I became Ricardo Ricolo the gymnastic Romanian - although I did enjoy pretending to be him for a short time. No, I mean I became a version of myself that has been locked away in heavy chains of social paralysis for far too long.

Ashley meet Ashley.

Ashley Ricola.

Practice makes perfect

Rehearsing again for the Artists' Hangout tomorrow. I can't say too much about it really.

In fact, like I said in the post a few days ago, there are lots of things I can't talk about too much at the moment.

The hats and moustaches arrived today for the weather or not festival. Can't say too much about that either. When we've done it I'll post about it.

And if you're good, I'll post pictures.

Blimey, even I'm excited about that!

The bad news I had yesterday involved a very good friend. He had a death in his family. Cherie and I were shocked and deeply upset for him.

Going to go now, this is just a quick post. I now have to practice some more for tomorrow.

I've got the afternoon off work to get ready, practice some more and help set up.

I'll need it. The practice, I mean.

Not good.

Sorry. Had some really bad news.

No post today.

I'm lost for words.

Too many cats, not enough bags

Yes. It's true. I'm worried that at least one cat won't be contained in a sack of some sort and will roam around miaowing to the world about all the things that are being planned on the down low.

I've had a ridiculously busy day. OMG.

It started at 630. I did all the tidying, laundry and washing up that we were too mashed to do yesterday. I made breakfast and got ready. I then took Cherie to Kerry's for a Buddhist meeting and took Nat's girlfriend, Lisa, home.

William and I then visited the Manchester Museum of Science and Industry. We weren't there long because they had some kind of event on for very young children. The place seemed very different and aimed at kiddies. We had a look, got bored then left.

I did try to explain the importance and character of simple harmonic motion and its application to mechanical and electrical engineering. William tried his best to look interested.

We went for food on the way back. In this time of economic downturn even the once busiest of retail parks has tumbleweed blowing across the car park. We stopped at Pilsworth where there once was the best cinema in the area along with many high street restaurants.

The cinema is now up for rent, the Chiquitos has closed and the Pizza Hut had only a handful of customers. At lunchtime on a Sunday.

How the mighty have fallen. I can remember when the whole place was so busy you had to pay to just wait for a table at the best restaurant! It will always be part of my psyche as the only place from which I ever did a runner.

Yes drainers, I ate and ran. Back in the 90s. Not because I didn't have the money or was feeling naughty.

It was just because the place was so busy the waiters couldn't keep up and the service was really abysmally slow. So, I got up and just left after waiting for an hour just to pay the bill.

Anyhow... Back to the cats.

After the pizza I took William back. I'm glad he had a good weekend; he told me so.

I then returned home and fell asleep. Like you do.

We then went to a rehearsal for.... And here we meet the first cat. I can't tell you what it was a rehearsal for. It's kind of a secret. But it was a few hours of chaos.

After that, I was very hot and tired. But there was more to do.

I took Cherie to chant with Christina and returned home to practice for... Ah, I sense another cat. Shove it firmly in the bag. I'll tell you all about it later, faithful drainers.

After picking up Cherie from chanting we watched some cheesy Romcom and snuggled on the sofa. The snuggling made me happy, the movie made me mad. It was one of those really unfair and quite one sided chick flicks. The kind where if the tables were turned and the lead role was a male everyone would call him a shit for treating the supposed love of his life really horribly. But for some reason, because it is a woman in a chick flick its all fine because its done in the name of true love.

Whilst watching it, I was on BookFace posting about... Wait... Do I hear miaowing? Shhhh.... Say no more. Where's that other bag...

And now I'm here, posting this from the bedroom. Feeling really guilty that I had a lardy pizza but fulfilled because of all the events of today and really happy that Wills had a good weekend.

STOP PRESS! I forgot to mention something amazing! One of my very best and very oldest friends is getting married! He invited us to the wedding today. It's in July.

Balderdash

Had a brilliant game of Absolute Balderdash. Still the best board game we own. You're always guaranteed a howling good laugh and no mistake.

We played it by candlelight because of Earth Hour.

Very cosy.

Ginger drinkers.

Sorry, that's a very random thing to say. But I have to tell you about it. I'm always harping on about spell checkers frangling my words. Well, I tried to type "g'night drainers" as a way of signing off this brain drain and my phone changed it to "ginger drinkers".

A mistake? Or is it cleverer than I give it credit for?

You decide...

Bitter Cold in Costa Coffee.

Not only did I forget to post yesterday, I forgot that I forgot!

What was I thinking, letting all my loyal drainers down.

Must. Whip. Self. Soundly.

What's all this snow about, then? Its nearly April. Bloody loads of it. All white and fluffy. Houses that look sugar coated. Fields that look like huge trifles.

All these food metaphors are making me hungry. And I've just eaten a rather naughty chocolate tiffin from Costa.

I'm waiting for Cherie. She's having a photo shoot. Dressed as a school girl.

Not that kind of photo shoot. I've told you about that mind before.

No, in the style of Hogwarts. It's for Caroline, the Hufflepuff.

I'm sitting, right now, in Costa Accrington watching the local muggles trudging against the wind with beet root faces and gritted grins. Everyone is buttoned or zipped into woolly coats. Hats and scarves against the brazen gusts.

Tonight, it's Earth Hour. You have to turn off your lights and electrical gadgets for an hour. We've taken part over the last few years. This year, I think it's been badly publicised. So I did my bit by shouting about it to my BookFace amigos.

And today is the final day for submissions for the Clitheroe Platform Gallery Open. Cherie is submitting some butterflies in a piece entitled Butterfly Carnival. Well the Latin name for that, which I can't pronounce never mind write. Her submission is at the last minute as usual. The window for entries closes at 4:30pm.

She's just called me that she's finished at the photographer's.

I'd better go and brave the blizzard.

Bad Day

I was right. Today was a bitch.

A fracking bitch.

Two people made redundant from my team. Good people.

Another person handed in his notice. Also a good person.

Plumber our moving radiator pipes called. Hot water pump goosed. Ch-Ching.

He called again. Three position switch also buggered. Ch-Ching.

Got home. Plumber had put my key through letterbox leaving me keyless. Cherie working late. Nat at girlfriends. Totally lucked out.

Totally locked out.

Sat in car for two hours getting boreder and colder. Really needed to go to loo.

Call from Cherie at 7. Meet her at Tesco. Went to pick her up.

Call from Nat at 730. Picked him up from girlfriends.

Cherie realised she only got half of the shopping from Tesco. Return. Chance to go to loo. Toilets closed. Of course.

Got home. 830. Went toilet.

Knackered and pissed off.

Yet somehow, still smiling.

Tomorrow's Not Looking Bright

Had a successful day at work today. Slow, but steady. Tomorrow's the final day for the redundancy. Two people will be going from our office. I feel so bad, but not half as bad as the guys under the sword of Damocles probably feel. They don't deserve it.

Took William to guitar and then went round to Ian's for a bit of a laugh.

Tomorrow will be a shitty day. How does one keep smiling through that?

Breaking Bad

I've started watching Breaking Bad on NetFlix. I'm impressed.

Cherie doesn't like it because it seems to glorify drug use; or at least make it seem acceptable. I agree and understand her point of view. It's definitely not a pleasant show.

But the characters are very three dimensional and well acted. I can't help thinking what I would do if I was in the same position as the lead character. I would struggle but I wouldn't choose the same route as he has. But I can understand his motives.

When I was in the school debating team, we had to discuss the issue of morality on television. I had to answer the point that illustrations of wrongdoing encouraged people to behave in the same way. My response was that as long as the effect of the action was shown then it was fair to air the show. An example I gave was the children's program Grange Hill (well, I was 13). An episode may show one of the kids doing something really naughty. The story would then unfold and then the unfortunate boy or girl would have to deal with the repercussions.

Karma.

That's one of the things I like in Breaking Bad. The actions of the protagonist aren't free of karmic retribution. There's physical consequences such as getting beaten up or losing money and emotional ones such as guilt and anger.

It feels like a picture is being painted which is as clear as crystal (meth). It is completely fair and unbiased.

Do this shit and expect shit back.

That, and Mr White is a secret bad ass.

Post Demolition Tidying

I missed my blog yesterday because there was lots to do! So I'll do two today. A quick one just now and a meatier one later.

When I finished work yesterday I got home and started making some cauliflower, fennel and watercress soup. Whilst that was cooking, I had a go at tidying the house ready for a Buddhist discussion meeting at our house. Remember, the wall's just been taken down and the area replastered.

It's all finished now; all neatly plastered with new skirting boards. They've even cut a piece of laminate flooring and put it into the gaping hole in the floor where the wall used to be.

A really good job and quickly done!

But it left a lot of mess! Dust everywhere. And all the stuff that had been moved out of the area to accommodate the change had to be moved back. And there are not as many walls to put things on anymore!

I had to cart all the stuff around by myself. Cherie was at her mum's who was poorly.

I managed it! And all in time to pick up John Parrat for the meeting!

And the soup was delicious.

What did I do today? Erm...

Crikey! Almost missed today's Brain Drain! I forgot. Cherie and I have been very forgetful today.

I was going to write all the things we'd forgotten today, but I can't remember them.

Ba-bum! See what I did there?

Haven't really forgot. We didn't go swimming. I didn't take the remaining junk to the tip. We totally forgot about going to Christina's.

And at the Victorian swim practice we didn't take the money we were supposed to and I forgot all the routines!

And I forgot not to eat chocolate. Well, ignored it, actually.

I did finish the poem for the hangout. That's good. And I copied down all of the handwritten poems from the faded frames in our bedroom. They're getting harder and harder to read as the sun bleaches them. (* what sun? *)

Made a super tasty tea. And lunch actually.

For tea we had steamed M&S wild SockEye salmon on a bed of spinach with wasabi. For lunch we had home made chunky guacamole on a bed of spinach. See a pattern?

We bought too much spinach.

Started watching Breaking Bad on NetFlix. I enjoyed it. Cherie didn't. It does glorify the horrors of the seedy drug sub culture.

I had thought up a truly terrific sentence to end this piece on a life enrichingly positive note. One that you'd keep with you for the rest of your days on this merry go round we call Earth.

It was earth shatteringly, Pulitzer Prize winningly good. I tried to write it but the pen I used broke because it wasn't worthy of being the channel for the delivery of this portentous prose.

Bu thent, I forgot it.

Cracked Glass and Lost Twenties

Mmmmm..... Beer.....

I've had very little alcohol since the start of this year. The odd pint and glass of vino.

I bought some San Miguel today and I'm gonna have one in a minute. I deserve it.

It's been another busy day, Drain folk. Taken some of the crap from the side of the house to the tip. Done some shopping and lots of cleaning up. Started my poem for the Hangout.
Planned some wardrobes for the bedroom. Cherie then re-planned them, properly.

I know my place.

We then went to the shop to have a look at a wardrobe range.

We had shopping issues which all got magically resolved without any hassle. I bought a photo frame for a present and had to swap it when I found the glass was cracked.

Cherie got cash back at Asda and left it in the self checkout. She needed the money for supplies from the Asian shop. She realised when she couldn't pay for the curry ingredients and we had to dash back to reclaim the lost cash. Astoundingly, she got the money back.

I couldn't Adam and Eve it! Lucky break. A boomerang twenty.

I could do with some more of them.

We went to Peter's birthday party. Unfortunately, none of the other wild swimmers could make it. Would have been great to have seen them all!

It was fancy dress and I tried to go as Neo from the Matrix trilogy. I looked more like Roy Orbison. Cherie went as Emma Peel from the New Avengers. Very saucy, missus.

One of Peter's mates showed us photos of him swimming in a very clear natural pool. Apparently, near Rydell Water. I think we should get more details and plan an AWS outing there in the summer. It even had a natural water slide for the adventurous ones.

Going to have my beer now.

Tex Mex at the Station

Wills is here! Everybody say "Hi Wills!". He says hi back.

We went out for a Mexican meal at the Station pub in Helmshore. I've been looking forward to it for quite a while. It was actually good; not terrific. They'll deliver to Oswaldtwistle for orders over £20.

Nice.

Watching Comic Relief now; sorry, the cause is good, but it's just not entertaining. Cherie is cursing at the computer. She's trying to type up notes from a recent meeting.

The wall job is still not finished, but it's looking good.

Tearing Down the House

Oh my God! The wall is gone!

The kitchen stroke dining room looks so strange without it. There's a lot of space, and we've had lots of ideas about what to do next.

We really need that new kitchen.

There's still some plastering to do and the remnants of the electrical sockets and light switches need properly locating. The old radiator pipes need to go somewhere too.

But I'm in awe at how quickly and hassle free the job has been so far.

The Wall that Went

Half way through the week. I can't wait until weekend.

It's Peter's party on Saturday. It's fancy dress in the theme of characters off of the telebox.

I thought of going as Neo from The Matrix. But I need sunglasses and mine broke.

We're having a wall knocked through tomorrow. Like you do.

It'll be there in the morning and gone when we get home. How's that for service?

I've been clearing out the two rooms that will become one. The conservatory is packed with junk; I mean, packed with precious things. Where's it all going to go?

Daisy's Hair Cut

Spent the afternoon in A and E today with one of the guys from the office. Boring, but better safe than sorry. He'd been complaining about a headache and then his face turned white and he couldn't remember anyone's name. It was all very worrying. Needless to say, I rushed him up to the hospital.

He was very confused and obsessing about not being able to understand why he had forgotten the names of people. In the car on the way there, he kept mumbling under his breath absently.

The hospital was bleeding useless. It took them ages before seeing him because their computer system went down. When they finally did see him, they gave him a prescription for aspirins and sent him home. He has to return within 72 hours for a CAT scan.

I made awesome soup for tea and then Cherie and I trimmed the dog. I held her firmly still. She cried and whimpered as she struggled to get free.

The dog, not Cherie.

Cherie did the shaving.

She looks better now. I think she feels better too.

The dog, not Cherie. But then again...

Meanwhile, I am covered in curly black fur and I smell of wet dog.

An attractive look.

Taplow Court

Had a very busy day yesterday, so I didn't get to blog.

A very long day that started at 545 and ended at 2330. It involved driving to Taplow Court for a Buddhist meeting from 10 until 5 and then a trip into London to see my wonderful friend Nancy.

She had made lentil soup which was just ready when I arrived after fighting through the traffic on Vauxhall Bridge.

We watched a corny monster movie and went to bed.

I had a bizarre dream in which I was lucid dreaming. A dream within a dream. To make the lucid element of it work, it had to spin round 360 degrees on the bed, head and feet turning about the axis if my tummy. In the dream, windows were like a liquid you could pass through and I could fly. I soared free around the roof tops of London. Zipping through the London Eye, around Big Ben under Tower Bridge. I felt alive and unrestrained.

Was kinda cool and very vivid. I remembered it all in great detail.

I drove back today bringing a present for Nancy's mum for Mothers Day. Cherie and I took it round when I got back after my 4 hour non stop journey through the snow.

We both chanted at Christina's then went to bed early.

A really full weekend.

So full, in fact, I had to miss having William, a Buddhist meeting at the Civic and a rehearsal for the synchronised swimming event.

Shame.

Week Off - Day 5 - Women's Day

Yes - today is International Women's Day. Because of this, it's possible for venues to stage the Vagina Monologues for free. They're putting it on at the civic and Cherie is performing some of the pieces.

I'm really excited for her. And nervous too.

I've just dropped her off at the Civic. She looked gorgeous.

She's very nervous - we didn't have time to do Gongyo first because, gasp of surprise, she wasn't ready in time.

I know that she doesn't need it, but I wish her luck. She just needs to stay calm and enjoy it. I know she'll be fine - she's a powerful, confident woman.

She-Ra Princess of Power.

Me? You're asking about me? I've not been well. Again. But I'm better.

I'm heading of to Taplow tomorrow; kinda wish I didn't have to, actually.

I've got all my stuff ready because I'll be setting off at about 6:00am. I need to get some things done tonight before I go to the Civic.

So I'm going to go and have a shave.

Week off - Day 4 - Snot Bucket

Yup. Dat's Be. Snot Bucket.

You have to read dis ibagining you have a blocked dose.

I feel really boorly. Got a bad cowd. I thought I'd write dis anyway. But I don't feel like I want to spend too long writing.

Just wanna sleep.

Typical - getting sick on a week off work.

See y'all later.

Week Off - Day 3 - The Bonny Tilers

Corny, I know.

Well, it got you reading, didn't it?

And I bet you have an inkling what Mrs D and I have been up to today.

The floor in the downstairs loo. I was quite daunted by the task - but we did it! In very good time too.

Looks really good.

Cherie is finishing the grouting whilst I take William to his guitar lesson.

We struggled cutting the tiles. They're quite thick and weak. Like some people I know.

Kidding - you're all awesome!

The tiles are hard to actually cut and once cut, they're hard to snap without breaking. I had borrowed a tile cutter (thanks Andy C) but it wasn't up to the job I'm afraid. I tried cutting with my Dremel ("Dremel's don't cut", I'm reminded, "they grind!"). Well, it was unexpectedly successful but I found myself going through too many carbon discs.

I went out and bought an inexpensive (I thought) electric tile cutter. What a piece of kit! From Homebase.

Yes, I thought you'd be shocked, I was too. You can get up off the floor now.

After the whole "paint stripper" shenanigans of the other week I thought I'd never buy anything from there again.

I was really impressed by it. Water cooled, dontcha know. Diamond edged blade.

Ooooh!

All the tiles were cut straight and neat, very few breakages (the tile to blame not the cutter). But I did get "tile milk" everywhere - a white mixture of water and tile dust that seems to appear randomly everywhere and isn't easy to get rid of. You should have seen my hair!

Ghostly!

So, the floor is now tiled. Walls, radiator and woodwork are painted.

Another job from the work queue finished.

Next, please.

Week Off - Day 2: The Terminator

We went to visit Cathy in her new flat in Bury today. It's really lovely. She made us a terrific vegetable tart.

But today's blog has to be about something else.

Because I have to mention the guy I saw at the end of our street.

There are roadworks on the road at the end of our estate, blocking the exit to Union Road. Over the past few days, there have been guys in day-glo workman's jackets directing traffic. I don't think they're with the council, or whoever it is who is digging up the road. They look more like they are working for Oswaldtwistle Mills, directing people into the car park as a kind of sign to show they're still open for business and accessible to all those guilded consumers. They wait idly for an approaching elderly couple in a car and then point absently at an empty parking space.

But today's guy was different. Today's guy strutted.

Today's guy wore a jacket that boldy declared "Security" across the back. Today's guy looked mean.

Today's guy was...

The Terminator.

We set off from home to go to pick up Christina ready to head off to Cathy's pad. There he was standing importantly in the centre of the junction at the end of the street, boldly challenging all traffic.

He noticed my car as I drove up Orchard Drive. He spun urgently and dashed over with an air of facist importance, the metal rims of his sunglasses glinting in the bright glare. As I approached he slowed his pace then stopped. He expression changed slowly into a knowing smile. He gave me one of those man-to-man looks like we had a shared secret; sort of an "I know who you are!" grin. Then he continued nodding slowly at me as I drove out onto Moscow Mill Street.

I imagined him thinking,

"That was a close one! He nearly got me then. But don't worry. He's one of us. That guy's on our side. Go get 'em tiger".

I checked in my rear view mirror, he was still watching us and grinning proudly. I almost expected to see him salute as we drove away. Maybe he'd then put his hand to his ear, listen to some coded message being piped in through a secret headset and then dart off randomly. Protecting who knows what from the not sure who.

Tonight I will sleep soundly in my bed knowing that The Terminator is confidently guarding Moscow Mill Street; pacing back and forth in Ossy Mills car park.

Keep it up, soldier.

Week Off - Day 1

Guess what, Drainers! I'm off work!

Woo hoo!

And so is the Mrs! OMG - at the same time!

Are you surprised? Shocked, even? The Deankins, at home during the week? Together? No kids?

You'd think there'd be all kinds of holiday shenanigans. Tomfoolary, larks, japes and many other generally good things going on.

How about... decorating. Painting. Sanding. Tiling. Drilling. Screwing (with a screwdriver... I don't know; your dirty mind...)

Barrels of laughter. Ho ho ho! He he he!

Boo hoo hoo - more like.

I jest - I'm not really phased by this at all. In fact, I'm positively grinning.

I get to spend time with my beautiful flower girl. And that bathroom really does need finishing.

If we don't do it now, it'll never be completed!

So, I raise my paintbrush high; defiant. Let the paint scraper be my sword and the tile cement spreader be my shield as I bravely go into battle with a bare room full of negative feng shui.

See you on the other side!

Chaaaaarge!!!!

Steam Punkery

The Mad March Tea Party was hugely enjoyable. I had a whale of a time. The costumes were a feast for the eyes. The pro punkers had some dandy intricate accessories. But honestly, I think us Steam Punk virgins did a fairly impressive job.

Caroline and David made some terrific goggles. Good work!

Kerry seemed to enjoy herself. She did seem to have gone a little bit insane towards the end, but that's allowed on your birthday.

It was great to see everyone there; and to see how much effort everybody had put in.

The whole thing was very well organised yet had an organic feel to it. The idea of an authentic tea party was genius.

I really liked Katya's tea urn. An amazing piece of artistic kitchen equipment. Every home should have one.

Looking through the photos on BookFace, (and yes, we still have to upload ours) it is clear that we all had a good time. At the end, everyone pitched in to clear up. Again, rather organically it seemed. All of a sudden, there was a spontaneous whirl of activity as chairs and tables were stacked around the room.

It seemed to me that there was an after party just waiting to happen. But unfortunately, it didn't happen.

I particularly enjoyed the company of a beautiful flower girl. A gave her a sixpence and she gave me a posie. Later, I took her for a ride in Hackney cab and we became well acquainted.

And who knows; more there'll be more flowers later.

Mad March is Almost Here

End of another busy day. I can't believe that we've done so much in only a 24 hour period.

I blitzed the house this morning. We hosted a Buddhist leaders' meeting. We went shopping for birthday presents. We wrapped the presents. We went to a rehearsal for the Victorian swimming [just as bonkers as last time]. We went to a birthday party. Cherie did box office for Volga Olga. I put the finishing touches to the steam punk outfit. We ordered Indian [safe Indian for Cherie] and watched a surprisingly excellent movie called "Defendor".

I recommend the movie - don't be put off by what you think it might be. It looks like a superhero spoof movie. It's not. I found it quite moving - it reawakened a little of my faith in my fellow man.

Tomorrow is the Mad March Tea Dance steam punk thing - and Kerry's 50th. Kosen Rufu in the morning at our house - and I'm hoping that lots of smiling happy people will come to chant with us.

Today I feel like a rich man. Not in wealth. In friends and happiness.

Love you all.

Prayer for the Lost

At the writing table at the Hangout on Wednesday, I wrote a short piece inspired by Ian's "Writer's Block" book. I had to write a story in the form of a prayer.

I really enjoyed writing it and people were surprised by how much I'd written in a short time.

Hope you enjoy it - it's rather silly.


Our Father,

Who art in heaven, I have have a bit of a problem. I suppose I should start at the beginning. But then again, you probably know all about it already. After all, you are omnipresent.

It must be hard, omnipresence. Not the physical splitting of yourself to cover such a large area, although that does sound fairly nasty. No, I'm talking about the sensory input. Seeing many glorious and terrible things sights from across the globe. Hearing tales and prayers from all of humanity.

Must be exhausting.

If you can find time in your busy deity schedule, could I ask you to keep an eye out? You see, my dog ran off. George he's called. A border collie. I've had him for fourteen faithful years.

Then he just took off.

I thought we were friends. When I stroke his soft fur it comforts us both. He sits at my feet on cold nights in front of the roaring log fire.

He's never brought me slippers, but then again, I tend not to wear them. But I just get this deep knowing feeling when I gaze into his deep mournful eyes that if I had slippers he would joyfully leave them by the bed.

He's that kind of friend. But now he's gone.

And I can't help feeling it's my fault. Because he's on Aldi dog food now. The prime juicy chunks had been replaced by dry ashy biscuits.

Maybe I'm over analysing but he's the kind of animal you know is wiser than you.

And now he's gone.

Please God, keep him safe.

Amen

Goggles and Pens

Two things that you don't tend to put together. But I will explain.

Eventually.

But first, I'm going to have to apologise for my appalling lack of blogarithms these last few days. Un-for-givable.

I do have an excuse though. I have been really busy.

What with the Victorian swimming meeting, work, buddhist meetings, work, the Artists' Hangout, work, the Mad March Steampunk Tea Party, work and work, it's been kinda ker-azy.

So where do I start?

Hanging out. At the hangout. Writing stuff.

It took quite a lot of organisation and co-ordination with Nina, but nothing we couldn't handle. We were running a creative writing table, you see. A first for the hangout. I think we did rather well, even if I do say so myself. I know that I thoroughly enjoyed it. Almost the best Hangout ever!

(I say 'almost' because I remember Hallowe'en!)

We had a constant stream of pen pushers busily jotting all evening. On post-it notes, on paper, on the table and on each other. We even had one person who was willing to read their poem out!

Brave soul.

To help the thought process, we had The Chest of Inspiration full of bizarre objet d'art, a picture box full of expertly [* :-) *] laminated photos, Nina's old books without their jackets, the wonderful artworks on the walls and (my personal favourite) a book donated by Ian called the "Writer's Block". I used that to write a peice. If I remember, I'll post it tomorrow.

I'll need lots of 'Likes' for encouragement, so get your clicking fingers ready.

But what, you say, has all that got to do with the title?

Well... I'm glad you asked.

It kind of covers the 'pens' part of the title - although there's a less happy story there too. You see, I took my best writing pen to the Hangout. It was a present that I particularly liked. It was one of those pens that you can use to write a space opera when actually in space! Designed by NASA. Astro-tastic.

That pen and I spent many a happy hour together. [* sigh *]. It went to the Hangout, but didn't come back. I searched frantically but could not see any trace of its liquid silvery sheen.

Oh well, it's only a pen. And pens don't write stories, people do. And word processors ;-)

I saw Francine at the Hangout. She brought me a cane for the Steampunk thing. Huge thanks if you're reading this, BTW.

She was expecting something back from me to help with her costume, but, alas, the message asking for this had become garbled en-route and I didn't know. Me fail.

She needed some cogs 'n' stuff and her internet ordered goggles were looking less and less likely to arrive from Eastern Europe in time. So I promised to help her make some new ones.

I went out and got the stuff today - they'll be slightly smaller than my pair. Francine is coming round tomorrow evening to help make them. Given that they need a few coats of paint, I've already done most of the work on the frame. I've also given them a primary coat of spray paint. They just need perspex lenses, 'leather' eyecups and a strap.

I am hugely looking forward to the tea dance just to see the hard work everyone's put into their outfits.

If you're lucky, I might post photos! It's on Sunday.

Oh - one more thing. Cherie and I are on holiday from work next week. Feet up. Can't wait.

I'm not sure what that means for the blog. I think it's a good thing.

I also have some more material for another entry in my technical blog "Strongly Typed". I'll probably do that tomorrow, so you brainy drainers will have to wait.

Missing you already.

Getting Excited

I'm all excited now. Fired up for the creative writing group at the Artists' Hangout.

It's going to be really good fun.

Please, please come down and visit us at Cafe Cargo on Wednesday. We'd all love to see you!

Not much of a blog post today, but it's been another busy day.

Virtual hugs.

Good Times

Had a mental weekend. Whoa!

And I reckon it's going to be a fairly mental week! Followed by another weekend of wonder and mirth.

Started off yesterday trying to strip the paint off two radiators. How is that mental, you ask. Well, it isn't. It's dull. And hard work. Notice I said 'trying' to strip two radiators. The paint was stuck like brown smelly stuff to a blanket.

I rubbed and I scrubbed and no paint came off. And no radiator genies offered me three wishes.

I wonder what I would wish for? I wonder what a radiator genie looks like?

[*Ash, stick to the point *]

Oh yes, blankets.

So, off I go to Homebase for some paint stripper. Applied it as per instructions. It bloody reeked. Waited the required 40 mins and began the stripping action. Did the paint peel off effortlessly as the blurb on the tin said it would?

Nope. Blankets.

I tried about 6 coats of the smelly green snotlike substance. Still no luck.

So, William and I watched a movie.

Cherie had been out in Heysham glass fusing. She came back wearing a teal coloured turban and a huge smile. I think Cherie, Caroline and Nina had been entertaining each other.

I saw Caroline's photos. Loved the 'Rock Dog'.

Then we went to the movies to see Cloud Atlas. Nina and Nat's girlfriend came with us. It was absolutely dead! Only about 20 people in the cinema and we were six of them. There were so many of us we'd had to travel in 2 cars!

Cloud Atlas was terrific. We all loved it.

It was late, so I took Nat's girlfriend home before going to bed.

Today we had the first "Buddhist Basics Brunch" at Kerry's. We didn't expect anyone to show, but Kerry's very inspiring friend Katya was there and so was Venessa. Katya is new to the practice and although Venessa has been coming for a while, we hadn't seen her at a meeting in months due to holidays and illness.

We listened to chapter one of "The Buddha, Geoff and Me" by Eddie Camfor-Dumas. I love the simplicity of it. I've heard it before but I took so much more out of it today.

When it was over we talked about swimming and diving suits. Katya offered to talk to William about his interest in becoming a marine biologist.

After, Cherie and I went to a rehearsal/planning meeting for the "Weather or Not" event. We're doing a wild swimming thing in a Victoriana style. Basically, it involved chatting and doing silly dances.

I can remember a time when I would not have believed that I would spend an afternoon doing silly dances in preparation to doing it in full in front of a crowd.

But, blimely, how my life has grown.

I remember when I started going to Buddhist meetings, someone asked me if I was ready. Yes, I said cynically. Well, why wouldn't I be? What is there to be ready for?

He explained to me that I would notice two things. That my life would grow until I wondered how I was going to fit everything in. I can tell you now that the guy was right.

The other thing he said is that unexpected things would haunt me from the past. By stirring up the still pond of your seemingly placid existence the sediment hidden at the bottom would churn and make the water muddy before gradually settling to leave a crystal pool.

Another way of looking at it is to imagine a garden hose left outside over the winter. You come to use it in summer and when you turn on the tap out comes all the crap before any of the clear water.

That's the bit you need to be ready for.

And it happened. Within the second year of chanting, I became a company director, something that I'd always wanted, and found I hated it because I was not cut out to be a corporate shirt. But, it was too late. Make or break.

I broke. Things went pear shaped.

But I addressed the problems, and now, workwise, things are looking up. I'm still not where I want to be, but I feel less trapped and more likely to get there eventually.

Also, Cherie and I hit hard times. I won't go into the details, but we had our own muddy waters to swim in.

We both took action and that particular poison became medicine. I'm a better husband because of it.

I'm a better person because of it.

At the moment, my life is richer than it has ever been. I hope it stays that way.

I've started writing this blog every day. Well, most days. I missed yesterday's because Cloud Atlas was about 3 hours long.

And this Wednesday, I'm running a Creative Writing group at the Artists' Hangout with Nina. Again, something I've always dreamed of being able to do but never imagined that one day I'd actually be doing it.

There's the Mad March Steam Punk Tea Party next Sunday (which I double booked with a visit to Taplow that I've had to cancel), another Weather or Not practice on Saturday afternoon. Men's meeting on Monday. Chapter planning on Saturday morning.

Still got the bloody radiators to strip. Then tile the bathroom floor. Paint the walls. Put up the new towel rail and toilet roll holder.

How I am going to find time to go to work?

Broken Tile

Hello there! Always a pleasure.

I've been trying to think of a subject to write about this evening adnd kinda coming up blank. What's been the highlight of today? Did anything in particular stand out?

William came to stay this weekend. And I was lucky enough to see my elusive yet wonderful daughter.

I bought some tiles. Nice ones. They're for the new floor in the downstairs loo.

They were quite cheap too. When you added in the cement, grout and tools the price doubled! I'm looking forward to putting them down.

But, worryingly, I broke one of the tiles. The guy in the shop replaced it for nothing. It practically just crumbled in my hand. The thing that concerns me is how easily it broke. I just picked it up and it fell into pieces. Cripes, I hope that doesn't happen to the rest of them.

Or worse, they go down fine and break when you walk on them.

Let's see.

Adrian called tonight. Was good to have a chat - not spoken properly for ages. Need to plan a boys' night out. Grrrr!

Going to go now - I've left it late again.

Hugs n stuff.

Top Hat

Yes, my top hat arrived. The one I managed to win on eBay.

It fits, as Ace Ventura would say, like a glove. A head glove.

It's fairly awesome.

We had some really bad news at work today. But I'm not going to say much about it.

It'll bring us all down.

So I'm concentrating on the good bits of today. Like the hat.

This evening, Cherie and I cuddled on the sofa watching a film called The Good Night. It was about a man who felt unfulfilled because his other half was unhappy. He started having lucid dreams of a fantasy woman. He eventually met her. What he hadn't realised was that all of the negativity was coming from him. This was affecting his real girlfriend who eventually left him. It also came out to the dream girl. And she buggered off too. In the end, he tried to make a go of it with real woman but ended up in a car accident which left in unconscious and stuck in his dream world.

The music was lovely. The cast was quite stellar.

This weekend we're going to see Cloud Atlas. Now there's a cast - must have cost a fortune!

So, drainers, it's another late school night and I'm off to bed.

A Poem

These are things I like to do,
When I am spending time with you.

Walking in a frosty wood,
Doing what two lovers should.

Feeling sun upon my face,
In some exotic far off place.

Laughing at each others jokes,
And maybe those of other folks.

Holding you so very tight,
Throughout a chilly winter night.

Collecting shells from off the sand,
Playing, running hand in hand.

Watching films on the big screen,
Then chat about what we've just seen.

Driving places far away,
All through the night and through the day.

Loving you between the sheets,
Doing acrobatic feats.

Eating in a cosy pub,
Munching on each other's grub

Dancing to a rhythmic beat,
In a club, then in the street.

Relaxing in a steamy tub,
Maybe give your back a rub.

Chilling with our closest friends,
Who hope the party never ends.

Smiling warmly all my life,
Cos I'm so proud that you're my wife.

Oops - bad me.

Sorry. Didn't post yesterday.

I iz well bad, innit.

It was a very busy day - and not an entirely happy one. So blogging was last on the priority list.

But today's a different day. It is 5:30pm and I'm still at work, killing time before going to pick up William for his guitar lesson at 6:30.

So what shall we talk about? The news? The weather? Food?

Let's stick with the last one. The other two are fairly tedious. Food's not so exciting either, I hear you shout. But, oh no, how wrong you are. How wrong.

I have something to say about food. Or the lack of it.

I've decided that I'm going to eat more healthily and much less. So it's carrot sticks and celery for me. Soon, I'll have the body of an athlete. [* Ash, I've told you before, stop being dramatic - body of a sofa jockey, more like *]

You see, when I was single I used to regularly cut back on my food to keep myself in shape. It becomes much harder when you're not cooking for one. And then there's a knock at the door - and it's Mr Belly bringing his gift of middle aged spread.

But Cherie is on a special diet, and Nat tends to just have his vegetarian stuff. So - back on the salad for me!

Looking forward to a life less tubby.

Note to Self

It was the Ceilidh yesterday. Awesome fun with awesome people.

When it was over, in true Wild Swimming style, we went back to someone's house for a bit of a do (thanks Franci).

Like you do.

But my headache came back. And I started getting tired. And hungry.

And grumpy.

Not wanting to upset anyone by having to leave early, I tried to stick it out. But the grumps built up.

I'm hugely sorry if I let my grumps rub off onto anyone - please accept my apologies. You see, that wasn't me. I'm a bit like the hulk but without the tight trousers. When David Banner was angry (in my case grumpy) he'd transform into a creature of power and emotion, devoid of logic and compassion.

My green menace came up and I'd had enough. I hope that not too many swimmers had to bear the brunt of it. You're all so lovely.

But hulky did say some stupid things to some people and I want to take it all back. And I want to change my karma so that he never shreds any shirts in future. Or at least if he does, he doesn't upset anybody.

So I've written a questionnaire that I'll keep with me. In times of stress/grumpiness/anger/over-tiredness I'll make a point of filling it in.

Please fill in the following form

Delete as appropriate

Do you feel tired?	Yes/No
Do you feel hungry?	Yes/No
Have you had too much coffee?	Yes/No
Do you feel overly and irrationally emotional?	Yes/No

If the answer to any of the above questions is Yes, 

then please, 

SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Late Post

Evening everybody.

Don't feel up to a post tonight I'm afraid. I've written quite a lot today already!

But it's late and I'm cream crackered. And I have a headache.

Moan... moan... moan....

So rather than bring us all down, I'll just sign off by saying that I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone at the Ceilidh tomorrow.

A drum and bass Ceilidh.

What'll they think of next?

Steaming Ahead

Blimey, are you back again?

Didn't expect to see you so soon. You're a glutton for punishment; letting me drain my brain all over you.

Want some more? No, you say?

Tough. Pin back your lugholes and let the tsunami that is today's brain drain wash you swirling down the plughole of experience.

Is that a good thing? [*Must. Work. On. Positive. Imagery*].

I've been a proper busy wittle bee today. Which is surprising, given how knackered I thought I'd be after yesterday's complete mad-a-thon at the One Billion Rising event in Manchester.

What larks! [*understatement*].

Singing, dancing, smiling. Lots of smiling.

Can I just say that Ailsa is incredible at getting people to feel at ease. I was really nervous about doing the whole "Something inside" thing. Me? Sing? In front of actual people?

Avin a larf, int'cha?

Well I did it. And I loved it.

The buzz afterwards! It kept me going for the rest of the night. Well, that and the espresso.

Whirling dervish comes to mind. If you think Franky and I battle-walzting was bad - think again. They had St John's Ambulance on stand-by. I was like a man possessed. Not by a demon, but by the spirit of some African tribal shaman. [Ash, stop being dramatic]. Let's call him Shaun; Shaun the shaman.

I proper loved the whole evening. Thanks to Meg for making it all happen.

Genius.

Which brings me back to today. How did I manage to function? Not entirely sure; but I was full of a creative energy which was almost entirely due to Shaun and his shamanic influences.

I cleaned. I tidied. I put things on walls. I changed walls. I shopped (a bit). I read a couple of chapters of my book about the philosophy of artificial intelligence. I drove around with the roof down (it was 14C in the sun at one point today, folks!).

But, most importantly, I Steam Punked! And, yes, it is a verb.

No, please, sit back down. Don't go to get the dictionary, just take my word for it.

OK, fine. It's not an actual word. I blame Shaun again.

I steam punked. I fused bits of leather, studs and chains into various accessories for my costume.

Hang on... I've just read that back. I'm concerned it gives the wrong impression.

It reads a bit, well, pervy. For those of you who don't steam punk, it's not what you might think.

Honest.

My costume's almost complete. I just have one more article that I need - and there's one on eBay. I've got my beady eye on it.

A top hat. A proper victorian one.

Fingers crossed. The auction ends tomorrow. Really, really excited - I've never really done eBay before. I'll let you know how it goes.

And don't go bidding on it! I'll know. Shaun the shaman can read your mind with his voodoo ju-ju. And he's probably much better at eBay than I am.

The sun's gone down and I think that my brain is well and truly drained. I feel, [*deep inhale*], cleansed.

How was it for you?

I think Shaun enjoyed it.

Who's a Naughty Boy, Then

Eep. It's true. I'm naughty.

I'm having a lardy breakfast at the axis of evil.

Must. Whip. Self. Soundly.

When I've finished my McMuffin.

Location:FatDonald's

One Billion Rising

Ok. I'd love to write pages and pages about today's events, but they've taken up so much of the day that there's no time left!

We've just come back from performing, dancing, spectating at the One Billion Rising event in Manchester raising awareness of violence towards women.

I'd taken two days off work for this. One to prepare and one to recover.

What a terrific evening. I was singing as part of a choir in front of an audience. And doing African dancing.

Mad or what?

Anyway, drainers. It's way past bedtime for this old man.

Toodles.

Location:Home

On Writing

Hi there drainers. Glad you could make it.

I've switched from typing this on my iPad to using a laptop. At least, until I get the iPad back. It's gone on a little holiday. Someone from work has borrowed it.

Oddly, words flow better when you're using a tactile keyboard. Go figure.

I've been mainly cooking today. Well, at least, that's how it felt. Cooking and washing up. And working, but just ignore that last one.

After all the cooking I went round to Nina's to begin the organisation of the very exciting event we're due to host at the Artist's Hangout this February.

You see, we're doing a writing workshop. It's a first for the Hangout; there's been visual art and performance art but not really any creative writing. So it's all a bit new and exciting.

I'm going to be doing more writing tomorrow - I'm on holiday from work - and I'll try to make tomorrow's post a really absorbing read. But tomorrow's writing will be mostly about the plan for the workshop event and the associated website blurb.

They say writing's like a muscle. The more you exercise it, the stronger it becomes. Using that analogy, my writing muscle needs to pull its finger out and get down the gym more often. It needs to stop sitting in front of the TV, get up off its arse and make itself useful for a change. And while its at it, it couldn't hurt to put the washer on a few times a week or help with the recycling. And will it put its bloody guitar away - it'll only go blaming everybody else when it gets damaged because it was left on the sofa and somebody sat on it.

Erm... Got carried away a bit there. Took the metaphor a bit too far and got lost in a world of messy teenagers.

Like you do.

Anyway, fun as this is, I should go.

Hugs n stuff.